So after my debacle of being sick, I moved home with my parents to convalesce. I had a lot of time in between sleeping/taking medicine, and during this time I felt motivated to go through all of my stuff. I organized my closet and drawers in my room, and got rid of a lot. At the time I wasn't even conscious I was downsizing. I just was surrounded by the stuff from my life and didn't want there to be so much of it.
2 months later I had another set back when I got Lyme's disease. I can laugh about it now, after being so sick I get a tick bite and Lyme's disease. More medication etc. Luckily, I healed quickly from this.
And then, a month after that, I got pregnant.
That was a surprise. My doctors were surprised after my whole situation I even got pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband and I were surprised, as I was on birth control. But, nothing is ever 100%.
We decided if we were having a baby, we might as well get married now (as opposed to later). My parents had money set aside ear marked for my wedding fund. We had a decision to make. Wedding, or save the money for our future (2 young people not out of college raising a baby).
We chose to have a small wedding with family and close friends at a local park. Total cost: $500.00
I have no regrets about this. While I didn't have a traditional wedding, we had a beautiful day celebrating our love and didn't go broke.
And having a little cushion when starting out in the world with a small family and no job really made a difference.
When we had our baby, some of my minimalist ways I developed after I was sick went out the window. I became caught up in the modern baby "stuff" culture.
My husband was the voice of reason through all this. He was actually the one who pushed for minimal television and less toys. I guess he had the foresight to know his college degree (music performance) was not one in sync with the "Keep up with the Jone's" culture.
Never have been living on a low budget, I soon realized what it took to be creative and survive on a low income. We went through 3 rentals before we found the current home we live in now (about 900 square feet, not tiny, but small.) I can remember during these times feeling very discouraged, the "when am I going to get to live in a 2,000 square foot house and drive an SUV/ mini van like all the other moms?"
The changing point was a monumental shift in attitude, that stemmed from reading this article
Simple Mom- the opulent ability to give. Once you look outside yourself, and your realize how large problems are the world, how many people have less than you, all the sudden all of the other stuff becomes stupid. It took my back to where I was after I was sick, thinking about the people with so much less than me, and I got to a place where I was like "who gives a @#$ if my house is small? SUVS are horrible for the environment! I embrace my small car! I have a place to live with a working toilet, I am damn lucky."
And when you stop focusing on stuff and all the unimportant stuff gets falls out of the way, you realize what really matters in life. Minimalism allows my husband to have his dream career even if it is not high paying, and allows me to work less and spend time raising my kids. Because we don't spend a lot of money on stuff we don't need, we don't need to make as much. It's still a work in progress, but we're getting there and we're happy.
And I think the key to it all IS happiness, is seeing what you have, no matter how grand or how tiny, and being pleased with your lot. I'm reading an interesting book at the moment, and the author says, rightly, that in crises, richer people commit suicide, but the poor, they are patient. They know with less, things will be alright. As really, there is no alternative. They are used to scraping by and are thankful for all the blessings bestowed on them.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for you to have suffered so long in hospital, but it seems to have helped you see the priorities in life, and that's truly amazing!